Game of Thrones - The Last of the Starks

I was basically (over) forgiving of last week’s “The Long Night”, willing to look past some obvious narrative fumbles in order to (mostly) enjoy the episode. It was the battle Game of Thrones had been building toward for seven seasons and there were, for sure, missteps. 

But I understood, for the most part, the writers’ willingness to end the rather problematic Night King saga in order push the show’s main players into a final conflict. And that was ultimately the point of this week’s “The Last of the Starks”, getting Jon, Daenerys, Tyrion, Jamie, Cersei, Arya and others face to face for a final confrontation that would ultimately decide the fate of the Seven Kingdoms and the GOT world as a whole. So yeah, I get it. But man was this episode had some real problems. 

Forget the rather obvious gaffs like the Starbucks’ coffee being served in the Great Hall through final edits. Mistakes, I guess, are made from time to time, whatever. But the path they’ve taken on some of these characters in an effort to produce, well, I don’t know what, is unbelievably perplexing. I’m going to work small to big here, and sort through the timeline of the episode to outline kind of what I mean. 

Jamie and Brienne

Um, what? I am going to need to have someone really explain this one to me. I’d rather both had just lost their life in the Battle of Winterfell than to have them awkwardly shack up. I mean I suppose after years of 0.0 sexual tension between these two, it only made sense for them to fall in love before Jamie leaves to get back/ kill his *real* true love. This was a total and complete mess. Seasons of Brienne as a strong, fierce soldier, knighted two episodes ago by Jamie in a truly emotional scene only to be *knighted* by him here was a borderline disaster; narrative malpractice. Having her wail in agony as he rode away undid (in my mind) all the great work they’d done with her character. What a mess. 

Tormund and Ghost

As Tormund and Ghost trot off to their eventual GOT spinoff, a buddy cop show called “Best Friends Beyond the Wall” (on CBS this fall) I was generally happy with how they treated our favorite, big-woman-loving Wildling. He had the quote of the episode, proudly wondering, “Which one of you cowards shit my pants?” before striking out with Brienne one last time. It makes sense the Tormund would bring the Free Folk back North. It made little sense for Jon to just will Ghost over to him, severing one of the last cool aspects of the opening scene of the entire show when the Starks find their direwolves. Because this episode is called the Last Stark, each remaining Stark had to have his/her moment of finally dismissing the family name. This was, of course, Jon’s. That it got like 37 seconds of air time and dude couldn’t even summon the intestinal fortitude to pet Ghost on the way out was such a missed opportunity. So, good for Tormund, probably bad news for Jon. 

Sam and Gilly

Sam lived through the Battle of Winterfell despite Jon’s best efforts to just let the guy get devoured by the dead in the final moments. He’s knocked up Gilly and will now live out his days reading good books and singing songs. It was a sweet moment, the lovable loser bookworm getting the girl he rescued from Craster’s Keep seasons ago. A fine ending for Sam whose main purpose in the show was making sure we understood the 1.5 ways to kill the dead before disrupting the entire flow of throne lineage (because Bran doesn’t do that kind of thing), setting Jon and Daenerys on a “who wants it more?” collision course. 

Bran

Speaking of Bran, dude had long since dismissed himself as a Stark, converting fully to the Three-Eyed Raven and basically sitting around doing ??? for the better part of a couple of seasons. He’s left behind in Winterfell and I really don’t know if we’ll ever see him again. He fulfilled his role as milky-eyed historian weirdo who seems like he can kind of do anything he wants, and yet just doesn’t really do anything at all. If he never makes another appearance, I wouldn’t be shocked. If he is the lynchpin to the entire show I guess I wouldn’t be shocked either (but I doubt it). 

Arya and the Hound

This, in my estimation, was easily the best and most authentic couple of minutes of the episode. Arya’s character is easily (and this really isn’t even close) the best character on the show. Her story arc, while not complete yet, has been handled with such a deft touch, working the long game since the very beginning and keeping her true to GRRM’s (I believe) original intent. That she eschewed Gendry’s offer to become a “lady” (the one thing she despised from the beginning) made total sense. That she wasn’t even around to hear her name ring out in honor after the battle (because she was practicing her shot) made total sense. And the conversation between her and Sandor was brilliant. 

Sandor: You’re the big hero.

Arya: I don’t like heroes.

S: Must have felt good sticking your knife in that horned fucker.

A: Felt better than dying.

…

S: I don’t plan on coming back

A: Neither do I

S: Will you leave me to die again if I get hurt?

A: Probably. 

This scene was perfect. 

Tyrion and Varys

The two thinkers, who’ve made it through basically every bloody battle without picking up a weapon (Battle of the Blackwater for Tyrion aside) are now locked into something of a chess piece stalemate in which it’s almost inconcevable both come out alive in the end. Varys, likely has picked the better of the two sides, understanding that Daenerys is losing touch with reality and Jon makes for the better King when it’s said and done. I don’t mind this interplay, even if if does appear borderline suicidal on the part of Varys whose character has essentially perfected the art of keeping his head fully attached by saying/ doing the right thing at the right time. 

Sansa

Well, she kept that secret for about 1.5 seconds. Jon, who from the very beginning of the show has been a tactical dolt, misreading every obvious sign in social situations, formulating cognitively-impaired battle plans, seeming dense to the point of stupidity and yet coming out clean (and alive) time and time again might have made his last and final mistake here. He ditches the Stark name once and for all when he tells Sansa who he really is, expecting her to like, keep the secret, is one last final nail in his decision-making coffin. Of course she would blab, who could blame her? Sansa is of course the last of the Starks, the only one set on preserving the family name and the power bestowed on the House. She’s played this game correctly since feeding Ramsey to the dogs and almost no matter which way the show goes in the final two episodes, it seems clear she’ll be alive and well as the Lady of Winterfell. 

Daenrys and Jon

And finally, these two. I wish I had written this last week, mentioning it in a conversation I had later on as a prediction for how the show would turn. But after dispensing of the Night King, I didn’t think it would be *enough* to have Cersei as the last remaining Big Bad. I thought the show would possibly set the final conflict between these two and it sure looks like that’s how it’s going down. Cersei, by way of The Mountain, decapitating Missandei is probably the final straw before Danny does the best impression of her dad and tries to torch King’s Landing to ash. I’m going to hold out full opinion on how this plays out until the end of the series, because there are a couple of ways for it to go. I do think Daenerys going Mad Queen would make sense considering her bloodline (though Jon has the same blood and he doesn’t seem as much crazy as just plain dumb). 

With two episodes left, there is still time to wrap things up in a tidy(ish) bow. I don’t mean ride off into the sunset happy ending mind you, Game of Thrones doesn’t need all the feels in order to end “correctly”. But I’m holding out hope for something that just makes sense. That’s probably not too much to ask, but after these last couple of episodes it might be.